Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?
This question is possibly one of the most powerful questions that I’ve ever been asked. I don’t only think of my future wife in this question, but I think of the power of youth. When it fades into the inevitable moments that will come, where I encounter the irrefutable face of age and decay, there will be so much that is different.
I’ve always been taught to number my days. To think of heaven. That life is but a breath. A car, quickly passing on the road of eternity. Yet in my youth, I see the car moving faster and faster. Rushing past people, places, memories, and dreams. The speed of life is relative. Not to time, but to perspective.
There’s a word that I have come to despise. I refuse to use it. I loathe it. It is the antagonist of life. It seeps in and robs youth of beauty and joy. It begins slowly and with a blink of an eye, it occupies cities and hearts with an unparalleled grip. It is the darkness that moves, unseen through time, sapping every player of energy and life. It undoubtedly has one single response to my question. Will “being busy” still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? It will not. It never can. It is intrinsically impossible for it to love me. Because in order to truly appreciate someone, you have to meticulously and carefully examine every detail without reservation or rejection. Busy cannot reflect on the beauty of life. Busy cannot meditate on the joy of a breath. It doesn’t even acknowledge it. It is instantly forwarded onwards to the next seemingly important monument, unaware that the breath that was just taken may be the most powerful event of the day.
I look forward to loving someone deep into my old age. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to fall in love with someone and they are so busy that they never enjoy it. I couldn’t imagine finding her and being so wrapped up in success and activity that the moments that I could be falling deeper in love, are spent…being busy.
This is a post that I will not be able to answer until after I’m married. It’s doubtful that you’ll read this then, but I want to be able to come back and edit this and talk about how beautiful and youthful she is. The reality is, I won’t talk about that. I’ll talk about the moments that I would have missed if I’d not been focused on staying in the moment.
Until that is published, whether you’re in a relationship or not, hide your phone. Embrace the moment you’re in. Connect to the person across from you. Nothing is as powerful as looking deep into someone’s eyes and realizing that there’s no place else that you’d rather be. You could be a call away from telling someone you want to spend time with them, meeting up, and growing closer than you ever thought possible. Don’t apply this to just your romantic interest. Embracing the moment is a practice similar to therapy. It can be awkward and painful at first but in the end, you’ll find yourself so much stronger and you’ll see clearer than ever. I hope to be like that as well.